I got sent to the US Army Europe Soldier of the Month Board.  A board of six people - the Board President and a panel of high-ranking NCOs - grade you on a variety of different points, such as your appearance and the appearance of your uniform, as well as your discipline; they ask you a bunch of questions about military subjects, such as unit history, weapons specs, first aid, drill and ceremony, awards and decorations, and that kind of thing. 

"What field manual covers Physical Fitness?"

"Sergeant, Physical Fitness is covered by FM 21-20."

So, I went in and won my first board.  They recommended me for promotion to Sergeant as soon as possible, so the moment I become eligible in December, I'm going to a promotion board.

Oh, and I'm the Soldier of the Month for US Army Europe.

I'm leaving for Romania on or around the 23rd of November.  I expect to be there for a little over a month.  Then, it looks like I'm probably going to Fort Benning.  That fucking sucks.

free plz

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.  Hi Mom.  Hi Dad.     

Another high-ranking enlisted female fumbles the ball and blames the junior soldier.  Some more backstory.

The afore-mentioned female has just taken over my section a week ago.  I'll completely set aside the fact that nobody likes her and she's notoriously incompetent, and focus on the singular fact that she's not yet familiar with the duties involved or how to do them.  I deliver the intel goodies to several important people at another building very early in the morning.  First I drop off the intel to Important Guy A.  Then I stay in the building for about thirty minutes, in Important Guy B's office, until IGB finishes his book, and I take that one back to the office with me.  

Important Guy A finishes reading his intel much later in the day, just before or directly after lunchtime.  His office calls my office, and I promptly walk over with my black briefcase and pick it up.  Too easy.

Today, the Important Guy A came in early and finished reading his book very early - while I was still in the building.  This is not the way it normally works.  His office calls back to my office, and the female says to them, "My Specialist is over there.  He'll stop by and pick it up."

Somehow, she assumed that I'm either omnipotent, or perhaps a mind-reader - as a matter of fact, neither assumption is accurate.  So, I return to the office with the just the IGB book.  She does not mention that the IGA book needs or needed to be picked up.  I then proceed to my next (glorious) duty, which is assisting with a classified briefing for a different bunch of very important people.  This ties me up for an hour.  During that time, the guy at the IGA office calls again - he's been WAITING for somebody to come get the intel book, and he can't go anywhere or do anything until somebody does.  It's a security violation to leave that shit unattended.  So, understandably, he's pissed. 

My female, flustered, hurries over to get the book - and doesn't bring a briefcase to put it in.  So she has to take his PERSONAL briefcase to carry it in.  Smooth.  Real smooth (and by smooth, I mean shameful and embarassing) [although, quite honestly, I'm surprised she managed to find the right office].

So, I come back from the briefing, and she's obviously unhappy.  Because she assumed I'd pick up the book while I was in the building, and told them wrongly, I MADE IT LOOK LIKE SHE LIED.  And I need to REMEMBER to stop by his office from now on to get the book.

THERE IS NOTHING TO REMEMBER BECAUSE WE HAVE NEVER BEEN IN THE PRACTICE OF STOPPING BY THE CG'S OFFICE DURING THE MORNING DELIVERY BECAUSE HE'S NEVER DONE WITH THE BOOK UNTIL AFTER LUNCH.  I AM NOT FORGETFUL OR UNTRUSTWORTHY OR INCOMPETENT OR IRRESPONSIBLE!

But now it sure as fuck looks like I am.

And then, I have to take back the guy's briefcase.  This guy is great, though.  I sat down in his office and we talked - I explained to him that we don't normally stop by the IGA office after the morning delivery, to which he replied, "Yeah, see, that's what I thought.  We always call you guys later.  So when female told me, both times that I called, that you would get the book while you were over here, I thought that sounded odd."  I also mentioned to him, in a completely tactful manner, so as not to imply fault or incompetency in my female, that she had just transferred to the section recently, and he entreated me to sit down with her and explain to her the way that things really worked. 

Great idea, in theory, but good luck explaining the standard operating procedure to the individual who has been placed in charge of your section, who happens to be a headstrong irrational female.

Everyone makes mistakes.  That's fine.  We're all human.  No big deal.  But when blame for somebody else's mistakes get dumped onto me, that's when I become indignant, angry, frustrated, and even spiteful.

Somebody get me out of here.

Yarr.  Avast, me hearties.

Well, if my chain of command pulls through, I'll be in Germany for another 2 years - the remainder of my term of service.  If they don't, it looks like I'm headed to Fort Benning, Georgia, in February.  It's a hardcore infantry post and I don't want to go there.

Got my fingers crossed on that one.

Going to the range next week to shoot up some targets with my trusty M16A2 rifle.  I'd appreciate it if you could send me a picture of your face to print out and tape onto the target.  It might help me get a higher score.  Thanks.

By the way, I wield a nine-foot-tall two-handed sword called Buster (named after the rabbit from Tiny Toons, you know).

Oh, and a small addition about the zombie-themed novel World War Z, by Max Brooks.  A film adaptation is due for release in 2008 after the rights were obtained by Brad Pitt's Plan B Entertainment, with the screenplay being written by J. Michael Straczynski of Babylon 5 fame.  Sounds promising!

Start Time: 11:13 a.m.

Name: Timothy Michael Eberhard

Sisters:

Brothers: 1

Eye Color:  Blue

shoe size: 8 1/2

Height: 5'6"

What are you wearing right now: My uniform (ACUs)

Where do you live: Camp Bondsteel, Kosovo

Favorite Number: 69

Favorite Drink: Apple cider

Favorite Month: November

Favorite Breakfast Food: Omelet

***********Have You Ever*****************

Loved someone so much it made you cry: Yep

Broken a bone: Nope

Been in a police car: Nope

Been on a plane: Yep

Came close to dying: Yep

Been in a hot tub: Yep

Swam in the ocean: Yep

Fallen asleep in school: Yep

Broken someone's heart: Not that I'm aware of

Fell off your chair: Yep

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: Nope

Been cheated on: Nope

***********What is-****************

Your room like:  It is a metal can called a "living container" that says "lift by crane only" on it

What is right beside you: My computer

What is the last thing you ate:  A nut.

------------Ever Had- -------------------------------

Chicken pox: Probably

Stitches: Nope

Broken nose: Nope

-------------------------Do You------------------------------------

Believe in love at first sight: Infatuation at first sight is more like it

Like picnics: Sure

Like school: Sometimes

-----------------------who----------------------------------------

Who was the last person you danced with: I don't remember

Who makes you smile: Nobody

Did you last yell at: Some Chief Warrant officer fuckface who was behind my living container messing with the bundles of CAT-5 cable that run haphazardly all over the place and did something stupid that fucked up my internet connection the evening before my ONE day off in the week because he was too stupid or impatient to call the DSN service people on the base to come help him with whatever questions he had about how the internet worked around here so he jumped down there himself and fucked it all up

--------------------------Do you---------------------------------------------

Do you like filling these out:  Rarely

Do you wear contact lenses or glasses: Nope

Do you like yourself: There's room for improvement

---------------------Final Questions---------------------------

What are you listening to right now:  FF6 "Deadly Promises" from OC Remix http://djpretzel.web.aplus.net/songs/Final_Fantasy_6_DeadlyPromises_OC_ReMix.mp3

What did you do today: I wrote an assessment on Islamic extremist assholes and worked on an event chart on some other dickface who is involved in organized crime and weapons trafficking and I pretty much single-handedly saved Kosovo from self-destruction

what kind of car do you wish to have: I want the Batmobile

Good singer:  NOPE

Diamond or pearl:  Diamonds are forever

Are you the oldest: Nope

Indoors or outdoors:  Indoors

------------------------Today did you------------------------------

1. Talk to someone you like: Sure

2. Get sick: Nope

3. Sing: Nope

4. did you talk to a(n) ex: Nope

5. Miss someone: Always

--------------------Last person who---------------------------

7. Was in your bed: Timmah

8. You talked to on the phone: My parents

9. Made you cry: My parents

10. Went to the movies with: I can't even remember

11. You went to the mall with: I can't even remember

---Have You Ever----------------

18. Been to Mexico: Classified

19. Been to Canada: Yep

20. Been out of state?  Yep

------------------------Random-----------------------

21. Do you have a crush on someone:  Nope

22. What books are you reading right now:  Complete Scoundrel

23. Best feeling in the world: Wacking off to tentacle hentai

24. Future kids names: Kids suck

25. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: Does your mom count?

26. What's under your bed:  Well, let's take a look!  I see two bottles of Multi-vitamin 12 fruit juice, one empty, one full; a wireless router, a crumpled up bedsheet, a pair of sandals, a half-eaten tuna and swiss sandwich (soon to be consumed), a styrofoam to-go box containing three slices of salami from about three days ago, two empty plastic to-go bowls, a half-empty bottle of non-alcoholic beer, two notebooks, the key to my metal living container, and an empty bag of Chex Party Mix, and a plastic spoon, and a flyer for Anthony's Pizza, and an empty water bottle, and a Andis brand electric hair trimmer

27. Favorite sport to watch: Female mud wrestling

28. Favorite location: Mountain Home

32. Who do you really hate: Any who oppose me

33. Do you have a job: Yep 

35. Ever liked someone you didn't have a chance with: Probably

36. Are you lonely right now: I'm a soldier

TIME FINISHED: 11:27 a.m.

Saving the world..

One 5.56mm round at a time..